If anyone may be in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency number.
I Don’t Know Where to Begin
You may know that something needs attention without knowing what the problem is, what you are feeling, or what to do first.
Several things may be happening together.
You do not need to understand everything before taking one useful step.
If the Experience Is Mostly Inside You
You may notice:
- fear or anxiety;
- sadness;
- anger or irritation;
- shame;
- loneliness or rejection;
- confusion;
- numbness or disconnection;
- physical sensations;
- thoughts that keep repeating;
- or difficulty identifying any feeling at all.
You do not have to choose the perfect description.
Begin with whatever comes closest.
If one or more feelings seem recognizable and you want help exploring what comes closest, choose What Are You Feeling Right Now?
If you cannot identify the feeling or everything seems mixed together, choose I Don’t Know What I’m Feeling.
If It Feels Like Too Much
You may understand what is happening but have too little capacity to deal with it right now.
Signs may include:
- being unable to think clearly;
- feeling flooded or panicked;
- shutting down;
- moving quickly between problems;
- wanting everything to stop;
- or being unable to identify a manageable next step.
The first need may be to reduce the amount you are carrying in this moment.
If You Are Concerned About How You Are Coping
You may feel like:
- withdrawing from everyone;
- using alcohol or other substances;
- spending, gambling, or taking financial risks;
- confronting someone;
- damaging something;
- hurting yourself or someone else;
- leaving suddenly;
- or doing something you may later regret.
If you keep returning to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or another behaviour despite consequences—or you are worried about someone who does—you can begin with the addiction, cravings, and coping route.
An urge is not the same as an action.
You can examine what the urge is trying to change, stop, escape, express, or protect.
Choose One Small Action
If no clear path has appeared, choose one action that protects something important.
That might be:
- drinking water or taking necessary medication;
- moving somewhere safer;
- writing down the most urgent deadline;
- finding one important document;
- sending one message;
- asking someone to stay with you;
- making one phone call;
- postponing one irreversible decision;
- or learning what help exists.
Ask: “What is the smallest action that could protect something important today?”
It does not need to solve the whole problem.
It only needs to create the next place from which you can continue.
You Can Ask Someone to Help You Sort It Out
You might say: “Several things are happening and I do not know where to begin. Can you help me identify what needs attention first?”
A trusted person, community service, healthcare provider, advocate, or other appropriate professional may be able to help you separate:
- what is urgent;
- what can wait;
- what information is missing;
- what support is available;
- and who can help with the next step.